


4th Grade

by Sniperdoodle



Series: School's Out . . . Oh Wait, It's In. That Sucks. [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Elementary School, Elementary School, Gen, Schoolstuck, webkinz - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-20 18:26:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1520951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sniperdoodle/pseuds/Sniperdoodle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat was finally at the top of the totem poll. He was finally at the top of the food chain. He was finally up at the top after four long years of waiting. He could now finally rule the school because Karkat was finally in fourth grade.</p><p>Schoolstuck, starting in 4th grade.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Back to School

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so one day I just started thinking about how awesome 4th grade was and suddenly I just had to insert Homestuck characters into it. So here we are. Hopefully, none of you are fourth graders and don't remember how fourth graders act, because I forgot how fourth graders act. But I think I did pretty good. So, enjoy!

            “We’re finally at the top!” Karkat exclaimed as he walked next to John towards Nicholas Cage Lower Elementary School. “Think about it, we finally get to boss around everyone and they all look up to us!”

            “Yeah, that is pretty cool,” John agreed. “But we basically we at the top last year because the third graders had lunch with the second graders and they basically listened to everything we said.”

            “And we basically listened to everything the fourth graders said during second recess last year too,” Karkat reminded John. “If they wanted the swing we were sitting on, we got off. If they wanted the good soccer ball, we gave it to them. But now, the third graders will do what we say! We’ll be treated with the respect we deserve.”

            “You sound drunk with power,” John informed Karkat as school came in sight.

            “What does that mean?” Karkat asked.

            “I dunno. I heard it on TV,” John shrugged as they joined their friends lining up outside the door, behind the sign that had their teachers name on it.

            “Hey Dave, Rose,” Karkat greeted the Strider-Lalonde twins.

            “Hey,” Dave turned towards his bros. Rose was talking to Kanaya and Jade.

            “Oh, hi Karkat!” Jade turned around to say hello to Karkat.

            “What am I? Rotten meat?” John asked his cousin.

            “No, it just that I hadn’t seen Karkat since July,” Jade retorted.

            “Hello Karkat,” Kanaya said hello to her cousin.

            “Hey Kanaya,” Karkat replied. “I can’t believe we’re in fourth grade. And in the same class.”

            “Yeah, it seemed like just yesterday I was in first grade chasing Kankri around the back playground singing that one Spongebob song about striped sweaters,” Dave agreed.

            “Man, Kankri was traumatized by that,” Karkat laughed. “Now he refuses to wear stripped sweaters.”

            “Or also in first grade when I joined the girl scout troop at their meeting and we chased Feferi’s older sister, Meenah, around and called her a chicken,” Dave laughed.

            “Now that was an interesting memory,” Rose agreed. “I’m pretty sure Meenah still holds a grudge against us for that.”

            “So who else in our class?” Karkat asked looking around the line. It was hard to tell though because everyone at the front of the line was mixing with the people in the line on the other side.

            “Hey Karkat!” Terezi declared as she snuck up behind Karkat and jumped on his back. Karkat quickly collapsed on the ground because he was a small guy and did not have the muscles to hold Terezi up.

            “Geoffme!” Karkat managed to get out as he tried to push himself off the ground.

            “I see you still haven’t grown at all Karkat,” Vriska commented standing behind Terezi and looking over on the squashed fourth grader. Terezi quickly got off of Karkat and helped him up.

            “Sorry Karkat! I just haven’t seen you since last year!” Terezi apologized to the small kid.

            “So how was Europe?” Dave asked before Terezi jumped on him in a hug.

            “Dave! I haven’t seen you either!” Terezi said before hopping off of the coolkid. “And it was awesome! I got to go to London, Paris, Berlin, Athens, Rome, and tons of other places! Where did you go?”

            “Disney World and Universal Studios,” Dave replied. “You should have seen it. When Rose met Belle from Beauty and the Beast, she started asking her about her Stockholm Syndrome.”

            “I didn’t get any good answers,” Rose grumbled.

            “And after I went on the Rock n’ Roller Coaster I threw up!” Dave shouted ecstatically. “Disney World is awesome!”

            “I liked Universal Studios better,” Rose inserted her opinion into the conversation.

            “That’s only because they have the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and that all wizard-y,” Dave explained wiggling his fingers in the air for emphasis. “But yeah, the Spiderman Ride at Universal studios was the coolest!”

            “The Harry Potter one is better,” Rose argued.

            “Again, wizards,” Dave explained. “But I also threw up after I went on the Fireball and it was awesome! But I liked the rides at Disney better.”

            “Universal Studios,” Rose argued.

            “Wizards!” Dave exclaimed waving his hands in the air.

            “Did someone say wizards?” Eridan asked barging into the conversation.

            “NO!” everyone said at the same time. Eridan then walked away with a sad look on his face to where Feferi and Sollux were talking.

            “I got to go to California,” Vriska bragged though she wasn’t officially apart of the conversation. “I didn’t get to go to Disney World, but I went to Disney Land. I also got to go to Hollywood, went on a tour of famous people, and I learned how to surf.”

            “John and I got to go and visit our Grandpa on his island!” Jade added.

            “He taught me how to shoot a gun!” John included that fact. “And he shot a butterfly!”

            “My parents took me and Porrim up to Niagara Falls,” Kanaya explained. “We got a hotel room where we could see the falls and at night there were fire works above the falls.”

            “Where did you go for summer vacation?” Vriska asked Karkat, sounding very cynical.

            “My dad just took me and Kankri up to our cabin on Lake Michigan,” Karkat explained, knowing that he didn’t do anything extravagant for summer vacation like his friends. “But we did go to Mackinaw Island and we got some fudge.”

            “Hhm, Mackinaw Island fudge,” John dreamed as Vriska laughed, thinking that Karkat’s vacation was pathetic, but Karkat learned not to care about Vriska years ago.

            “Yeah and we actually walked the entire length of Sleeping Bear Dunes,” Karkat added.

            “But you had sand up your butt for days,” Dave laughed.

            “Yeah,” Karkat agreed to that. “But it was cool and very pretty. And we got to see the sun set on the lake everyday.”

            Suddenly the school bell rang and everyone got into a semi-neat and orderly line. The doors to the school opened and a woman came out to guide the class inside. And this was only the beginning.


	2. The Torture of Second Recess

             The adults at Nicholas Cage Lower Elementary School didn’t understand the front playground. First off, it was completely barren of shade. The only shade found was at the far back of the playground near a small drop into a stream and the adult wouldn’t let any of the kids over there. Next, it had old playground equipment. All of the three metal playscapes were rusted and left your hands smelling like metal and calloused. The swing sets did the same. So, the front playground wasn’t that fun unless you were a jock and could find fun in running around and getting extremely sweaty.

            So mostly, Karkat and his friends sat around and talked. Sometimes they would swing on the swings to try and get a cool breeze, but that wasn’t very helpful.

            “Man,” Dave began. “Isn’t it bogus that they banned stuffed animals this year?”

            “Why are you bringing this up?” Karkat asked Dave.

            “Because, I was thinking about Webkinz,” Dave replied.

            “I’m not even sure my account’s still active,” Terezi informed Dave. “It was supposed to be reactivated over the summer but I was too busy in Europe to even think about Webkinz.”

            “Man, that sucks,” John informed Terezi.

            “It does,” Terezi agreed. “But at least I still have my penguin on Club Penguin!”

            “You have a Club Penguin?” Dave asked Terezi and he ripped up some grass.

            “Yep,” Terezi answered. “DragonSlayer7!”

            “Coolkid25,” Dave added.

            “NicCage14,” John threw out.

            “SquiddlesLover,” Jade included. “Surprisingly, no one had taken that name yet!”

            “Why are we rattling off our penguin names?” Rose asked her friends as she was in the middle of trying to convince Kanaya to read Harry Potter by dragging the first book out on the playground.

            “I dunno I thought we were still talking about Webkinz,” Karkat replied. 

            “Oh yeah, I just got an awesome new Webkinz,” Dave turned the subject off of penguins and onto Webkinz.

            “But we were just talking about penguins!” Karkat exclaimed wondering where this conversation was going.

            “It’s an Endangered Polar Bear,” Dave explained. “I named it Slushie.”

            “Cool,” everyone, excluding Rose and Kanaya who were indulging in Harry Potter, said at once. 

            “The last Webkinz I got was the Storming Dragon,” Terezi added.

            “Terezi,” Karkat turned to his friend. “That came out at the end of last school year. If you put it on Webkinz, then that means that your account didn’t expire.”

            “Oh,” Terezi remembered. “Right. Thanks Karkat!”

            “The last Webkinz I got was another walrus,” John explained. “I got another one because I wasn’t sure if Paul or John was the walrus.”

            “It was a Signature dog . . . oh! The Signature Australian Shepard!” Jade added.

            “The last Webkinz I got was the Alpaca someone gave me for my birthday,” Karkat tried to remember who gave him the Alpaca.

            “I got it for you,” Jade reminded Karkat.

            “Oh! Right. Sorry Jade,” Karkat apologized. “I want to buy on of the Signature Webkinz but I’m saving my money for the new Pokémon game.”

            “I know that the last Webkinz Rose got was the Signature Barn Owl,” Dave informed everyone.

            “Did she name it after a Harry Potter owl?” Terezi asked.

            “I am right here you know,” Rose interrupted the conversation. “And no, I did not.”

            “She named it after the main character of a book series about owls, Guardians of Ga’Hoole. Sore or something,” Dave tried to remember.

            “Soren,” Kanaya remembered. “I mean, if you are talking about the Guardians of Ga’Hoole series.”

            “Kinda like the Soarin ride at Disney,” Dave brought up the argument again.

            “Universal was better than Disney and no Dave, you did not feel something brush up against your foot on that ride and you did not smell apples,” Rose argued.

            “I swear I did!” Dave replied.

            “Just because you swear it does not mean that it is true,” Rose replied.

            “So did you see what the next party was going to be on Club Penguin?” John asked everyone who wasn’t watching Rose and Dave argue.

            “No,” Karkat replied.

            “It doesn’t look that interesting to me,” Kanaya added

            “I think it looks cool,” Terezi objected.

            At that moment the bell rang and everyone was free from the heat. Well, Karkat still had to sit next to Equius, who was running around all recess with Nepeta, and he already had a sweating problem to boot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was in Elementary School, everyone loves Webkinz. So I had to add this. Because Webkinz are awesome. And it's hard to believe but apparently Webkinz's nine year anniversary is coming up. I only know this because I had to go on Webkinz to find out about the newest Webkinz. And yes, I still remember my password and username. It's etched upon my brain.
> 
> Also, this chapter is based off the playground at my elementary school. It was just uhg. Like seriously, no shade and the teachers just expected us to kinda sit their and bake.


	3. Lunch

            Having lunch first is nice. You don’t have to starve through recess and you head out to the playground with a full stomach. The only downside to the fourth graders, who had lunch first and then were sent out to play for recess, is that they had to share it with the first graders.

            To the first graders, the fourth graders (except Karkat, obviously) were giants that could squash them, so of course, they basically praised them. To fourth graders (including Karkat because he has a sort of Napoleon Complex), the first graders were gnats, easy to step on and very annoying.

            It was strange that the fourth graders held themselves above the first graders when they were the same. They still traded Pokémon cards, they all had Webkinz, and they all still believed in Santa Claus. It was just that the fourth graders were smarter and bigger (except Karkat in the size department, again) than the first grades. They could find some common ground, its just that size (not Karkat) and grade were different.

            But first graders were persistent still to please the rulers of their school. Only Dave figured out how to abuse that power.

            “Go and buy me a cookie Johnny,” Dave ordered a small first grader as he chewed on his sandwich.

            “M’name’th Ben,” the first grader, who was missing both of his front teeth, corrected Dave.

            “Yeah, and here’s a dollar,” Dave gave the first grader a dollar. “Go.”

            The first grader scurried away to the snack line to get Dave’s cookie, leaving his friends astounded.

            “Can . . .can you even do that?” Karkat asked Dave.

            “What do you mean?” Dave asked with his mouth full of sandwich.

            “Are you allowed to order first graders around like that?” John restated the question.

            “I dunno,” Dave shrugged. “I just met that little guy yesterday at recess and he was willing enough to let me order him around.”

            “Thmart,” Sollux commented with his lisp.

            “When are gonna get braces Sollux?” Karkat asked his friend.

            “I dunno. It jutht matterth what the orthodontitht thayth at my next appointment,” Sollux replied.

            “I have to get braces,” Karkat grumbled. “I heard the hurt a lot.”

            “Yeah, Dirk had to get braces,” Dave began to tell a story. “And he said that it hurts, but the worst part is when they have to get the mold of your mouth because they fill it with this nasty stuff and the mold is always too big for your mouth so you’re basically choking or something like that.”

            “I don’t wanna get braces,” John whimpered after hearing that story.

            “And then you can’t eat things like popcorn or caramel because one time Dirk ate a Twix and ripped out half of his braces,” Dave explained. “I wasn’t there to see it but he says it happened.”

            “I don’t wanna get braces,” John repeated in a smaller voice.

            “I got da cookie for ya Mither Thrider,” Ben came back and handed the chocolate chip cookie to Dave.

            “Thanks, go eat lunch,” Dave informed Ben and the first grader scurried away. “Gotta love first graders.”

            “But Dave, if Dirk got bratheth, doethn’t that mean you’re gonna have to get bratheth too?” Sollux asked Dave.

            “Well,” Dave set is cookie down, not even getting to take a bite out of it yet. “Poop.”

            “So all four of us have to braces,” Karkat grumbled. “Wonderful. We’ll be the Metal-Mouth Wonders.”

            “And we’ll start a band,” Dave objected. “You and John can already play the piano, Sollux can play the elbow, and I can do all the sound effects.”

            “It’th called an oboe dumb head,” Sollux corrected Dave. “And do you think that I can play the oboe with bratheth?”

            “I dunno,” Dave shrugged. “I’ve never seen an oboe in my life.”

            “Why’d you even start playing the elbow?” John asked Sollux.

            “Oboe,” Sollux corrected John. “And it hath two reedth. It wath that or the baththon, the heckelphone, or the tharruthophone.”

            “Heckelphone? That sounds like Statler and Waldorf’s instrument,” Dave joked.

            “Thut up that’th not funny,” Sollux told Dave. “You watch too much Muppet Thow.”

            “That’s only because it’s Dirk’s favorite show next to My Little Pony,” Dave argued. “So it’s either puppets or ponies and the puppets are funnier.”

“Tharruthophone?” Karkat asked.

            “No, tharruthophone,” Sollux tried to correct Karkat.

            “That’s what I just said,” Karkat replied.

            “No, it’th the tharruthophone,” Sollux tried to explain. “I lithp tho the ‘th’th are ‘th’th.”

            “I think he means . . . sarrusophone?” John guessed.

            “Yeth,” Sollux agreed with John.

            “Hey bros,” Gamzee came over to the table and inserted himself in between Sollux and Karkat.

            “Gamzee!” Karkat exclaimed. “Where were you!?”

            “I got lost mothertrucker,” Gamzee replied as he started to mix his lunch together on his tray. It turned into a disgusting soup of chocolate milk, chicken nuggets, a broken up cookie, blueberry juice, and cheese Ritz.

            “How do get lost in this school?” Karkat protested. “We’ve been going here since we were in kindergarten! And it’s a small building.”

            “Well I was looking at some mothertruckin colors on this wall out over there,” Gamzee pointed off out of the gym, almost hitting Sollux’s head, but the lisping fourth grader managed to duck out of the way.

            “You mean the new mural,” Karkat sighed.

            “Yep motherfucker,” Gamzee replied as he dipped his hands into his lunch soup and used his hands to scoop it into his mouth. “Ah. Mothertruckin miracles.”

            “I’m gonna go and throw up,” John moved to the other end of the table so he didn’t throw up from Gamzee’s miracle lunch.

            Dave looked at Gamzee’s lunch and then stated, “Okay, you’re hearing this from the kid who collects dead things that have been flatten in the road and all of their guts splattered everywhere, but that it seriously disgusting.”

            “You’re going to get yelled at one of the lunch monitors for doing that again Gamzee,” Karkat warned his friend as he continued to eat. “If you throw that away now I’ll share my lunch with you.”

            “Nah, it’s completely fine mothertrucker,” Gamzee discouraged Karkat. “Eat your miracle lunch and I’ll eat mine.”

            “Well,” Sollux sighed. “Here cometh Lunch Monitor Thlick. I’m movin down.”

            “Me too,” Dave agreed as both he and Sollux fled to the other end of the table.

            Karkat was left with Gamzee as he continued to eat his disgusting lunch with his hands as the lunch monitor, Mr. Slick, came over to the table.

            “What’s going on here again?!” Mr. Slick exclaimed. “Did you make another mess!?”

            “I’m just eatin the mothertruckin miracle Slick-Bro,” Gamzee replied and Karkat did a major face-palm.

            “Throw it away then go to the bathroom and clean yourself up. And don’t call me Slick ‘Bro’!” Mr. Slick growled and walked away.

            “I gotcha Slick-bro!” Gamzee called after the lunch monitor.

            “And I thought first graders were horrific,” Mr. Slick grumbled as he walked away.

            “I told you so,” Karkat grumbled under his breath as Mr. Slick walked away.

            “I’ll be right back Kar-Bro,” Gamzee got up and began to walk towards the trash when he tripped over one of his untied shoelaces and the “miracle” lunch spread all over the floor and Mr. Slick’s new shoes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let's see, Dirk is playing the role of the older brother who gives his younger siblings misinformation. Also, braces. I had an orthodontic thing in my mouth from third grade to eighth grade. From a Platte stretcher, a retainer, and braces, I had a lot. And I only got it removed because my orthodontist was retiring. So, if I want my mouth to be fixed, I can get jaw broken in college! Which of course will be fun. But the big thing is that the thing that I hated the most was the mold. They are so uncomfortable and sometimes make you feel like you're going to choke because the mold is dripping back down your throat. But other than that, I don't mind anything else after going to the orthodontist for five years. You actually didn't need to read that. I just felt like sharing my pain.


	4. Hay Ride

            As per Cub Scout tradition, fall was celebrated with a hay ride and camp fire. All siblings were allowed to come, so Karkat had to suffer a lecture from Kankri about fire safety on the way there. Karkat just had to wonder what Kankri actually knew about fire safety since he actually never was in Cub Scouts and this was his first time joining Karkat on the Cub Scout Hay Ride because ‘he had nothing better to do’.

            So Karkat’s dad, Pastor Simon Vantas, drove the car onto the dusty dirt road and parked right next to Bro Strider’s (Dave and Rose’s dad, but everyone called him Bro for some reason) recognizable beat-up mini van that had the strange dent in the hood of the car.

            “So it seems the Striders are here,” Pastor Simon commented as he stepped out of his car.

            “And Rose too,” Karkat reminded his father.

            “And Rose too,” Pastor Simon corrected himself.

            “It smells atrocious here,” Kankri commented.

            “That’s because it’s a farm, and farms have cows, and cows poop,” Karkat reminded his brother.

            “Mind your potty mouth brother,” Kankri warned Karkat. “Someone might be triggered by that.”

            Karkat rolled his eyes and ran ahead of his father and his brother to the campsite where the Hay Ride was always stationed. Bro, the leader of his den, was already helping the pack leader start a fire. Dave and Rose were down by the lake with Dirk who was throwing stones out into the lake, not even trying to skip them.

            “Hey Karkat,” Dave greeted his bro.

            “Hey,” Karkat greeted everyone. “Why aren’t you trying to skip the rocks?”

            “I am,” Dirk grunted throwing another rock at the bottom of the lake.

            “If there’s one thing a Strider can’t do,” Rose explained picking up a rock for herself then throwing it out onto the water, the rock skipping three times before losing momentum and sinking into the small waves. “It’s that they can’t skip a rock.”

            “So I just see how far I can throw the rock,” Dave explained picking up a rock and throwing it as far as he could.

            “I so could throw farther than you,” Karkat commented.

            “Really?” Dave asked.

            “Yep,” Karkat supported his claim.

            “Then do it,” Dave handed Karkat a rock.

            “Alright,” Karkat took a step back before launching the rock out towards the middle of the lake. It made it about the same length as Dave’s.

            “Now watch,” Dirk instructed the younger boys by picking up a rock and throwing it out farther than either of the fourth graders.

            “Wow,” Karkat and Dave gasped both at the same time.

            Rose rolled her eyes and without fanfare, she picked up a small rock and threw it out towards the lake. It went farther than Dirks and almost made it to the center of the lake. Dirk, Dave and Karkat all began to clap at Rose’s accomplishment as Kankri caught up and joined Karkat near the lake with his friends.

            “Don’t get too close to the lake or you might fall in Karkat," Kankri warned his brother, and once again, Karkat rolled his eyes

            “Hey, it’s Mr. Killjoy!” Dirk greeted Kankri.

            “Oh, Dirk, I didn’t know that you would be here,” Kankri greeted Dirk.

            “Yeah, I always come, because I myself was once a Cub Scout,” Dirk explained. “Hay Rides always had the wonderful fall feeling about them that just made you feel warm inside.”

            “Really?” Kankri questioned Dirk.

            “Yep,” Dirk answered. “Anyway, you wanna see the fire?”

            “Of course. I was just lecturing Karkat about fire safety,” Kankri began to explain to Dirk as they walked away.

            “Is . . . Dirk hitting on my brother?” Karkat asked Dave once they were out of hearing-range.

            “Yes,” Rose answered.

            “Totally,” Dave agreed.

            “I would have a problem with that,” Karkat began. “But it gets him out of our hair. Once Sollux and John get here you wanna go in the corn maze?”

            “Oh yeah!” Dave agreed. The three fourth graders ran up the hill and began to wait for their friends by playing the good old game of tag. Once John came with his dad Mr. Egbert (who was in a pristine white suit) and Mr. Captor dropped off Sollux, the fourth graders all ran towards the corn maze.

            “We should play tag in the corn maze,” John suggested as the neared the corn maze entrance.

            “Or hide and theek,” Sollux suggested.

            “No, let’s play sardines,” Dave said.

            “No, tag sounds better,” Rose agreed with John.

            “And sardines is better than hide and seek,” Karkat objected.

            “Uh, can I, uh, play with you guys?” Tavros asked as he walked up behind the group.

            “Course,” John agreed.

            “Okay, so whoever wants to play tag raise your hand,” Karkat began to take a vote when Dirk interrupted them with Kankri and Rufioh with him.

            “We’re playing tag,” Dirk decided. All of the fourth graders groaned. The only thing that defeated fourth grade power was seventh grade power.

            “Put isn’t that dangerous?” Kankri asked. “Someone could fall and skin their knee, or someone could get lost, or-”

            “It’ll be fine. We’ve been doing this since we were in first grade,” Dave dismissed Kankri’s worries.

            “Besides, I’ve gotten lost once and it was easy to find my way out,” Karkat informed Kankri.

            “Tho are we playing tag or not?” Sollux asked.

            “Yeah,” Dirk began the game by touching Kankri on the arm. “Tag! You’re it!”

            Everyone scattered filtering into the corn maze to run away into the corn maze. Of course, a couple of first graders almost got trampled but it didn’t matter. They were first graders.

            It would have been an interesting game of tag, but Kankri ruined it by insisting on walking. By the time Karkat decided to find his brother and made him hand over the title of ‘it’, it was already time for dinner.

            And by dinner, I mean s’mores.

            S’mores was just of the evening highlights, probably the second best thing that could happen apart from the hay ride. The first and second graders were already loaded on the wagon pulled by the tractor and carted away, so the fourth graders could indulge in s’mores without too many little bodies standing in their way.

            The evening sky began to dark; the blackness took over all that was bright in the color setting sun. The only light given off was the orange glow of the roaring fire, the artificial light beaming from flashlights scattered around the campsite, and the small speck of lights scattering the night sky above.

            The area around the fire was extremely hot just like any fire, but kids swarmed around it to roast their marshmallow to perfection. Well, everyone except Dave, who at the moment was just trying to light his marshmallow on fire. The s’mores were heavenly, like treats sent down from God and just made you want some more.

            By the time everyone had already had more than their fair share of s’mores, the sky was completely black and a low rumble was heard in the distance, and came closer, and closer until the tractor dragging the wagon rumbled back into front of the campsite.

            The first and second graders were dragged off the wagon and the fourth and third graders were packed into the wagon, along with the siblings coming along for the ride.

            “Man, I love going on the hay ride when it’s dark,” Dave said turning around in his seat to look at the woodlands behind him.

            “Yeah, it giveth you that creepy feeling that thomething ith going to thneak up on you,” Sollux began to narrate. “Maybe you know a bear, a deer, or even maybe even . . . Bigfoot.”

            “Really?” Karkat asked Sollux.

            “Yeth really,” Sollux answered. He then looked over to John, who seemed to have tensed up while looking out into the darkness. Sollux jabbed John in the back and John let out a girly scream.

            “Not cool!” John exclaimed after his girly shriek and all of the fourth and third grade boys (plus Dirk) began to laugh. Rose rolled her eyes and Kankri tried to scold Sollux for doing a triggering thing such as that.

            “Shut up Kankri,” Karkat told his brother before he could continue.

            “Now Karkat that was also a very rude thing to say,” Kankri began to lecture. Dirk knew a good way to stop him. And no, it wasn’t kissing him on the lips.

            “Okay, as per the Cub Scout and Hay Ride traditions,” Dirk began to make up bogus things that would get Kankri to shut up. “It is time to sing some songs. Preferably Queen or Spongebob songs. Any suggestions!”

            “Katy Perry’s Fireworks,” a third grader suggested.

            “No!” Dirk replied. “Anyone else?”

            “Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream!” a second third grader suggested.

            “No again!” Dirk answered.

            “Katy Perry’s Dark Horse?” a different third grader asked,

            “No Katy Perry!” Dirk decided. “Only Queen, Spongebob, and maybe a few other tunes.”

            “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” Dave began because Dirk wasn’t getting anywhere. “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?”

            “Spongebob Squarepants!” everyone replied.

            “Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!” Karkat continued.

           “Spongebob Squarepants!”

            “If nautical nonthenthe be thomething you withh!” Sollux lisped.

            “Spongebob Squarepants!”

            “Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!” John sang.

            “Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepants!”

            “That’s the spirit!” Dirk laughed at the end.

            “Now,” Dave stood up but since there were no adults because Bro trusted Dirk (which was a bad move) and Kankri (which was another bad move) to watch over anyone and the drive was listening to music and too busy driving no one cared. “I’d like to dedicate this one to someone who doesn’t wear striped sweaters anymore after I chased him around the playground singing this song. So, sing along if you know this little ditty.”

            Dave cleared his throat and began to sing as though he was singing into a microphone, and everyone sang along, “ _The best time to wear a striped sweater, is all the time! One with a color, turtle neck, that’s the kind, cause when you’re wearing, the one. Special. Sweater._ ”

            Dave then sat down and everyone laughed.

            “Any other takers?” Dirk asked.

            John then began to sang without any warning, “ _F is for friends you who stuff together, U is for you and me, N is for anywhere, anytime at all down here in the deep blue seas!_ ”

            Dave the hopped right back in, “ _F is for fires that burn down the whole town, U is uranium. BOMB. N is no survivors WHEN YOU-_ ”

            “Plankton,” John gasped. “That isn’t what fun is about.”

            “Then what is it?” Dave asked.

            “ _F is frolicking throughout the flowers, U is for ukulele, N is nose picking, sharing sun, and sand-licking here with my best buddy!_ ” Dave and John sang together.

            “Another!” Dirk instructed.

            “I like to call this one: The Campfire Song Song,” Rose began and everyone clapped and cheered. “ _Let’s gather round the campfire and sing our campfire song. Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song. And if you don’t think that we can sing it faster then you’re wrong, but it’ll help if you just sing along._ ”

            “Buhm, buhm, buhm,” Dave sang rocking Karkat back a forward.

            “ _C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song! And if you don’t think that we can sing it faster then you’re wrong, but it’ll help if you just sing along._ Patrick!” Rose sang.

            “C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-” Dave began to sang.

            “Squidward!” Rose then said but Karkat said nothing as the song dictated. “Great! _It’ll help! It’ll help! If you just sing aloooooooooooong! Oh yeah!_ ”

            Everyone clapped as Rose did a fake bow in her seat.

            “Can I get some Queen in here?!” Dirk asked.

            “ _Buddy you’re a big boy make a big noise Playin’ in street gonna be a big man some day,” Karkat began to sing, and everyone quickly began stomping their feet and clapping their hands. “You got mud on yo’ face, you big disgrace, kickin’ you’re can all over the place singin’-_ ”

            Suddenly, everyone began to shout, “WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!”

            “ _Buddy you’re a young man hard man, Shoutin’ in the street gonna take on the world someday. You got blood on your face, you big disgrace, wavin’ your banner all over the place_ ,” Karkat sang.

            “WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!”

            “ _Buddy you’re an old man poor man, Pleadin’ with your eyes gonna make you some peace someday. You got mud on your face, you big disgrace, somebody better put you back into your place!_ ”

            “WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!”

            “Everybody!” Karkat shouted.

            “WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU!”

            The tractor rolled back to the campsite with everyone singing Queen and it was clear that this was one of the best hay rides.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brother was in Cub Scouts and my favorite memory from it was when we were all on the hay ride and we started to sing SpongeBob songs and some Queen songs, so I had to include this. All Spongebob songs belong to Nickelodeon, and We Will Rock You belongs to Queen.


	5. Halloween Festival

            “Vlah!” Karkat exclaimed as he snuck up on Dave.

            “Can’t scare me man,” Dave replied turned around to face Karkat in a vampire costume. “Nice costume though.”

            “Why are you Steve from Blue’s Clues?” Karkat questioned his friend’s choice of costume.

            “Why not?” Dave asked before raising a plush of Blue up to his ear. “Oh, what’s that Blue? Karkat’s being a big idiot? Why yes, he is.”

            “Put your dog away we have to go and find our friends,” Karkat informed Dave.

            “You mean, Blue’s Clues,” Dave asked doing the hand motion Steve always does when he says ‘Blue’s Clues’.

            “No, I mean, our friends,” Karkat mocked Dave by doing the same hand-motion.

            “Alright, last time I saw them, they were in the cafeteria,” Dave answered truthfully.

            “Cool, let’s go,” Karkat dragged Dave into the cafeteria where all of their friends were bunched over near the food. Rose was dressed as a Hogwarts student, Kanaya was a vampire like Karkat, John and Vriska were pirates, Jade was a witch, and Terezi was Sherlock Holmes. There was also a kid in a gorilla suit hanging around behind them, but it definitely wasn’t Sollux because Sollux always wore a bee costume for Halloween.

            “Hey, you and Kanaya are matching,” Terezi pointed out as Dave and Karkat joined everyone as they watched John fawn over non-Betty Crocker cupcakes.

            “Yeah, our Grandma made the costumes,” Karkat explained.

            “And she let me help with them,” Kanaya added proudly. 

            “And of course, Rose had to go as a Hogwarts student again,” Dave sighed looking at his twin.

            “Why fix what’s not broken Dave?” Rose replied.

            Dave was silent but then made a coughing noise that sounded clearly like, “ _Disney World is better than Universal Studios._ ”

            “Let’s not bring out this argument again Dave,” Rose sighed.

            “Just sayin’,” Dave said.

            “Who’s in the gorilla suit?” Karkat asked.

            “We don’t know,” Kanaya replied.

            “But they’ve been following me around since I got here!” Vriska exclaimed.

            Karkat sighed and turned the gorilla, “Get lost Eridan.”

            “Aw,” the gorilla AKA Eridan sighed and walked away.

            “Thanks,” Vriska grumbled to Karkat.

            “So are gonna go and get tickets or not?” Karkat asked. “I wanna see the haunted house.”

            “It’s going to be sooo lame like last year,” Vriska commented.

            “I almost peed my pants last time!” John protested.

            “Those weren’t brains, they were noodles,” Jade explained to her cousin.

            “They were brains,” John whispered. An awkward silence followed that statement.

            “Let’s just go and get the tickets,” Karkat decided.

            After buying tickets, the group spilt to the people that wanted to go and see the haunted house, and the people that were kind enough to stick behind with John because their whole lives did not depend on seeing the haunted house.

            “Since we spent all our money on tickets,” Dave began. “Five tickets says that this haunted house is going to suck like it did last year.”

            “We allllllll know that it’s gonna suck,” Vriska added.

            “We just wanna see how they fail this year,” Karkat explained.

            “And I would bet,” Terezi finished up. “But I don’t want to waste my tickets. I still need to kick Karkat’s butt during the games.”

            “You are so not gonna kick my butt,” Karkat replied.

            “I will,” Terezi said. “Like I did last year, and the year before that, and the year before that, and the year before that.”

            “Well this year,” Karkat claimed. “I’m gonna win.”

            The “haunted house” was doused in “spooky” green lights. The room was separated by thin black sheets, and on the other side you could clearly see that this was the speech room. Paper bats hung in the air and plastic skeletons scattered around the room. The only attraction to the “haunted house” was three boxes: one filled with noodles labeled brains, one filled with jello labeled organs, and on filled with rubber ducks labeled etc.

            “And I didn’t think the haunted house could get lamer,” Terezi sighed.

            “Let’s go and play some of the games,” Dave stated. Karkat and Vriska followed Dave back to where everyone else was hanging out with John, but Dave got stopped along the way by a two year-old dressed as a monkey who actually took Dave for Steve. It was funny, because not only did Dave do a perfect Steve impression for the little guy, but Dave was a blond and Steve was a brunet.

            “What took you so long?” Jade asked them as they returned. “Long line?”

            “No, Dave did a Steve impression for a two year-old,” Karkat explained.

            “Aw,” Kanaya, Rose and Jade ‘awed’ at the same time.

            “It wasn’t cute,” Dave scowled. “It was funny.”

            “No it sounds cute,” Jade argued.

            “Let’s just go and play some games,” Dave growled.

            They walked to the games, and Terezi proceeded to beat Karkat at all of them. There would be more to say, but they all got prizes and candy. And Terezi beat Karkat at all of the games. All of them. 

            “Good try Karkat,” Terezi said afterwards. “But I knew you couldn’t do it.”

            Karkat just growled in reply.

            “Eh, wanna go and get some more candy?” Dave asked everyone.

            “Of course,” Terezi agreed.

            “As long as we don’t have to watch Ms. Paint and Mr. Slick dance again,” Jade added.

            “Why does Mr. Slick even come to these events? He’s a lunch monitor!” John asked.

            “He comes to dance with Ms. Paint,” Kanaya answered.

            “But he can’t dance!” John argued. “And I’ve seen him do the Cha Cha Slide too many times to count.”

            “We’ve all seen him do the Cha Cha Slide too many times to count,” Karkat informed John.

            “And besides, you forgot that the real horror is watching Mr. Slick try to do ‘The Hustle’,” Rose reminded John.

            “Maybe Principal Hussie will get everyone to conga line again,” Vriska suggested.

            “That would be awesome,” Terezi agreed.

            “Let’s just go into the cafeteria and get some candy,” Dave began to lead his friends towards the gym.

            The gym was crowded with a table filled with boxes of candy, a dance floor where Mr. Slick was dancing with the kid’s fourth grade teacher Ms. Paint, and in the back of the gym parents were sitting around, chatting, and eating doughnuts. Principal Hussie came into the gym wearing his famous centaur costume. Principal Hussie was the front of the centaur, and some unfortunate staff member was trapped behind him in the buttocks of the horse.

            “Conga line!” Principal Hussie shouted as he broke up the dance-off between Mr. Slick and Eridan Ampora, which no one needed to see. Seriously.

            Everyone lined up behind Principal Hussie’s horse butt and the DJ turned on some Mexican conga music. The large line began to wrap around the gym in a large spiral as the line moved forward. New parents to the school and parents over-enthusiastic about capturing all of their child’s memories of childhood fervently took photos of the large line. Soon, the gym couldn’t hold the conga line, so Centaur Principal Hussie led the line out of the gym and all around the school. He returned the line to the gym and ended the night with, “HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!”

 

 


	6. Rollerskating

            “Roller-skating!” Karkat exclaimed as he hugged onto the wall of the roller-skating rink while his wheeled feet slipped out from under him. “It always has to be roller-skating! Or bowling, which I’m equally horrible at.”

            “Who are you talking to?” Dave asked Karkat and he skated up from behind Karkat, backwards of course. Dave Strider was always one to show off.

            “Myself,” Karkat growled as Dave slowed down so he could hang out with Karkat. Other students whizzed by traveling faster than Karkat could ever dream to go, playing a game of tag or something like that, which they weren’t supposed to.

            “Why is it always roller-skating?” Karkat asked Dave still clinging onto the small wall as if he was hanging on for dear life. “Roller-skating or bowling. There are other choices, right? We could go to the park! Or the zoo!”

            “It’s the middle of winter dude,” Dave reminded Karkat as he waved to Bro who was sitting in the concession area talking to another chaperone on the trip, Mr. Egbert.

            “Fine, a museum!” Karkat suggested. “Remember that Hands-On Museum we went to in second grade.”

            “Yeah that was awesome,” Dave agreed. “You got so angry that you couldn’t work the bubble thing.”

            “It was rigged,” Karkat argued continuing to struggle on his own two feet. “Oh, I didn’t even want to come today. First off, roller-skating, and then, the Polar Express. It’s as though teachers don’t understand that we’ve seen it every year since kindergarten.”

            “You’ve seen it once, you never need to see it again,” Dave agreed. “So why didn’t you skip?”

            “Kankri,” Karkat explained.

            “Oh,” Dave sympathized. “Understandable.”

            “What’s the matter Kaaaaaaaarkat?” Vriska teased Karkat as she skated by. “Can’t stand on your own two feet?”

            “Vriska love me!” Eridan chased Vriska.

            “I told you to leave me alone!” Vriska shouted as she began to skate away as fast as she could.

            “You wanna learn how to skate?” Dave then decided to ask Karkat.

            “Yes,” Karkat quickly said. “Wait, does it involve landing on my butt?”

            “All skating includes falling on your butt,” Dave explained.

            “Fine, go ahead. Teach me all you can teach oh great swami,” Karkat prattled off.

            “What’s a swami?” Dave asked.

            “I think it’s a teacher,” Karkat replied.

            “Well,” Dave began by turning back around and facing forward. “We should probably go over to that small room over there so you don’t fall on anyone.”

            “Good idea,” Karkat agreed.

            It took over ten minutes, but finally they got to the small room where many kids were just passing through.

            “So, ya wanna start with your feet kinda shaped like a ‘V’,” Dave instructed Karkat making a ‘V’ formation with his feet. Karkat followed suit and waited for Dave to continue.

            “Then, ya push off with one foot,” Dave pushed off. “And then you push off with the other foot.”

            “Not very helpful,” Karkat grumbled.

            “And when ya wanna stop, you kinda just tip forward one of your feet, ‘cause you know they have the stoppers on the end, an’ just slow down till you stopped,” Dave explained stopping right next to Karkat.

            “That wasn’t good instruction,” Karkat informed Dave.

            “Well you see,” Dave retorted. “Ima fourth grader. And I’m trying to remember lessons I took when I was in first grade. Just try it.”

            Karkat looked down at the wooden floor and then back up at Dave not saying anything. 

            “Fine, I’ll hold your arm while you try,” Dave held out his hand. Karkat placed his hand in Dave’s hand and was about to push off when John came around, having picked up Vriska and saving her from Eridan along the way.

            “Dave and Karkat sittin’ in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-” John began to chant while Vriska laughed.

            “Do you wanna teach Karkat how to skate?” Dave asked John.

            “You can’t skate Karkat?” John asked his friend coming into the small area. Vriska followed John because Eridan was still out in the rink.

            “No, of course I can skate. I just decided to wildly spaz out in the rink hugging the walls for no reason!” Karkat snappily replied.

            “Oh, okay,” John said. “We’ll help you learn how to skate Karkat! Right Vriska?”

            “Hhm,” Vriska thought. “It would be nice to see you fall flat on your face.”

            “Grr,” Karkat growled. “Shut up Vriska.”

            “I’ll stand over here and watch to faaaaiiiil,” Vriska said skating over to a corner of the room.

            “So,” Karkat turned to John. “Have any words of advice before I try?”

            “Don’t fall on your butt!” Vriska suggested from the corner.

            “You’re in the corner for a reason Vriska!” Karkat yelled at her.

            “I chose to be here!” Vriska retorted.

            “I dunno,” John shrugged. “Just stay calm I guess.”

            “Ready?” Dave asked his friend.

            “Fine,” Karkat sighed. He sucked in his breath and pushed off. Karkat’s feet slipped under him and he fell on his butt. Karkat could feel the tug on his arm as Dave tried to keep his friend up.

            “FAIL!” Vriska shouted from her corner laughing as though Karkat falling was the most hysterical thing ever.

            “First try,” John remind Karkat.

            John and Dave worked together to get Karkat off the ground and stable on his own two feet.

            “Be balanced,” John added.

            “I was trying,” Karkat growled. His butt was going to be sore after today.

            “Second try,” Dave stated. “Ready?”

            “As ready as I’ll ever be,” Karkat growled.

            Dave held onto Karkat’s hand as Karkat pushed off. Karkat managed to last a while until he tried to push off with his other foot and he landed on his butt again.

            “What’s going on here?” Kanaya asked as she skated into the small room.

            “We’re trying to teach Karkat how to skate,” John informed Kanaya.

            “I’m watching Karkat failing at learning how to skate,” Vriska added.

            “You alright Karkat?” Kanaya asked her cousin who was still on the floor.

            “My butt hurts,” Karkat muttered under his breath.

            “It’s alright Karkat,” Kanaya informed Karkat as she helped him up. “It takes a few tries to get the hang of the whole thing. What try is this? Second or third?”

            “Second,” Karkat answered.

            “Let’s try again,” Kanaya stated. “Third time’s a charm.”

            “You can seriously place any number in that sentence and say that it’s ‘a charm’ so that sentence is a load of baloney,” Dave informed Kanaya. Kanaya rolled her eyes and went back to helping her cousin.

            “Be careful with your feet,” Kanaya instructed Karkat. “Make sure that they don’t trip up over each other.”

            “Kay,” Karkat replied.

            “Go ahead,” Kanaya took a step back.

            Karkat then launched off. He was able to push off with his other foot afterwards and followed through with it by falling on his butt for the third time.

            “My butt’s getting pretty sore,” Karkat stated as he sprawled out on the ground and his friends circled around him.

            “Well, you were able to push off with your second foot, which is improvement!” John looked on the bright side of the situation.

            “Right,” Kanaya agreed. “You just gotta get back up and try again.”

            “Try, try again,” Dave added.

            “Thanks for the moral support,” Karkat thanked over sitting up. “Cept for Vriska. You haven’t done anything except laugh at me.”

            “Welcome,” Vriska replied from the corner.

            Dave and John helped Karkat up again and everyone stood back waiting for Karkat to do something.

            “Go for it bro,” Dave began. “Go for the gold. Put one foot in front of the other and soon you’ll be walkin’ out that door.”

            “Don’t quote Christmas claymations Dave,” Kanaya warned Dave.

            “Don’t hate on Fred Astaire and his pointy face Kanaya,” Dave replied.

            Karkat took a deep breath in. He breathed out and then pushed off, the wheels moving back on the smooth ground. He was able to push off with his other foot and followed it up with the first foot. As Dave has said, Karkat was putting one foot in front of the other and soon he was gliding across the wooden floors of the small room.

            “I’m doing it!” Karkat exclaimed. “I’m doing!”

            “Go Karkat!” John shouted.

            Then, Karkat crashed into the carpet-lined walls.

            “Oo,” John cringed as Kanaya and Dave rushed over to their short friend. John followed behind as Vriska cackled in the background.

            “Are you okay?” Kanaya asked Karkat who was lying on his back again.

            “Come on bro, say something,” Dave nudged Karkat with his foot.

            “Something,” Karkat grumbled.

            “Whoa, that wall knocked some humor into Karkat,” John commented.

            “Very funny Egbert,” Karkat grumbled sitting up. “Just because of that comment I’m not going to say my next joke.”

            “Was it along the lines of ‘Well at least I found out how to stop’?” John guessed.

            “Grr,” Karkat growled again. “So how do I turn?”

            “Uhm,” Dave tried to find words to explain turning. “Try to watch me.”

            Dave then began to skate in a circle around the room and stopped in the center, “That didn’t help, did it?”

            “Kinda,” Karkat admitted. “I guess it’s something simple fourth graders can’t put into words.”

            “Our vocabulary is very limited,” Kanaya admitted.

            “Unless you’re Rose,” Dave threw some sibling teasing into the conversation. “Cuz she reads the dictionary for fun.”

            “Gotta get back up,” Karkat grumbled as Kanaya helped him up.

            “That’s the spirit!” John exclaimed.

            Karkat then took off before anyone could say anything more. He bounced off the small walls of the room, not crashing, but just trying to figure out how to turn. After ten minutes of wobbling, Karkat finally managed to figure out how to turn as he watched Dave, John, and Kanaya make figure-eight’s in the room.

            “Good job!” John praised his buddy.

            “Yeah!” Karkat agreed as he circled around the small room. “Now, how do I stop?”

            “The wall,” Vriska suggested.

            “Tip one of your feet so the stopped can slow you down slowly,” Dave answered.

            “Or the wall,” John added. “Which is true.”

            Karkat tilted his foot so the stopped immediately. That was a bad idea because Karkat still had momentum, so he was thrown on the ground once again.

            “I thought I was done with falling,” Karkat groaned.

“I said slowly,” Dave informed his bro skating over to the fallen Karkat once again.

“Well, now you know,” John looked on the bright side once again.

            “Ready to show your rad skillz on the main floor dude?” Dave asked Karkat.

            “A little bit more practice would be good,” Kanaya suggested.

            “No, I’m ready,” Karkat argued standing up on his own.

            “Watch out world, Karkat Edwin Vantas can skate,” Dave announced as Karkat stood up.

            “My middle name isn’t Edwin,” Karkat informed Dave.

            “Then what is it!?” Dave exclaimed.

            “It certainly doesn’t start with an ‘e’,” Kanaya added.

            “Ready?” John asked Karkat, already heading out of the entrance to the room towards the main floor. “They’re playing the Cha Cha Slide!”

            “So?” Karkat asked what was so special about the Cha Cha Slide since they play it at all of the school’s activity nights.

            “It’s better on skates,” John explained.

            “Come on!” Vriska added joining John at the door.

             “Alright,” Karkat agreed and everyone headed towards the door. Suddenly, they were all caught in the flow of fourth graders skating and doing the Cha Cha Slide, which is a surprisingly good combination, verses the usually Cha Cha Slide at school where Mr. Slick is trying to impress Ms. Paint.  Karkat didn’t participate because he didn’t want to risk landing on his sore and most likely bruised butt.

            After the Cha Cha Slide, Karkat spent the rest of the time zooming around with his friends. It was much more fun now that he knew how to skate, even though he wasn’t the best.

            “Hey Karkat!” Vriska called after him once the Cha Cha Slide was over. “Now that you know how to skate, wanna race?”

            “That doesn’t sound good,” Kanaya warned Karkat, but her cousin wasn’t one to back down to a challenge.

            “Sure,” Karkat agreed.

            “Three times around,” Vriska explained. “Starting and ending at the front of the rink.”

            “Alright,” Karkat agreed to those terms.

            Minutes later, Karkat, Vriska, John, Dave, Kanaya, and Eridan surrounded the entrance at the front of the rink. Karkat and Vriska were on the rink and everyone else was off to the side to watch the race.

            “What’th going on here?” Sollux asked skating up to the group.

            “Karkat’s racin’ Vvriska,” Eridan explained.

            Sollux was silent but turned to Karkat, “What wordth would you like me to thay at your funeral?”

            “Haha, very funny,” Karkat replied. “I’m not gonna die. I’m gonna win.”

            “Now that’th funny,” Sollux retorted.

            “Are we going to do this or not?” Vriska asked waiting impatiently.

            “Now the terms that were agreed to were three times around the rink,” Kanaya reminded the racers. “The first one to past the second pole at this entrance wins. Alright?”

            “Yep,” Vriska and Karkat replied at the same time.

            “Go Karkat!” Dave yelled before Kanaya could start the count-down.

            “Vvriska!” Eridan shouted.

            “Both of you have a good time!” John exclaimed because he couldn’t chose between his two friends.

            “On your mark,” Kanaya began the count down. “Get set . . . go!”

            Vriska quickly raced away going as fast as she could. Karkat started off slower because he recalled some words of wisdom Bro gave him once: ‘Start off slow, and then give it all you got at the end’. True, that was for Mario Kart, but it was racing so it must apply here as well.

            Vriska and Karkat weaved around the innocent skaters trapped in their race, some going ridiculously slow, and others going the same speed as Karkat and Vriska. Karkat had a hard time getting around a group of girls who insisted on skating arms linked very slowly, but got around and speeded up to Vriska.

            The first lap was over quick, and Karkat was gaining on Vriska, who gave it her all in the first lap. Karkat and Vriska both managed to get trapped behind the wall of the linked arms again which put them at equal.

            The came the third lap, Karkat began to put his all into but Vriska gave what she had left into it too. It was neck and neck but Karkat managed to get around the wall of girls before Vriska could, putting him in the lead. Karkat thought it was in the bag so he began to go slower, but Vriska got around the girls and went faster. In a panic, Karkat began to go as fast as he could so he could match Vriska’s speed. As Karkat came closer to the finish line, Vriska was catching up to him fast. With one strong push, Karkat launched himself across the finish line before Vriska could.

            “Pay up!” Dave informed Eridan and Sollux, who had seemed to bet some time after Vriska and Karkat took off.

            “Good job!” John congratulated both of his friends.

            “Uhg!” Vriska groaned wondering how she could have lost again the shortest kid in the class.

            “I did it!” Karkat exclaimed, with a rush of victory and pride. Seconds later, distracted by his victory, Karkat slammed into a half-wall and managed to flipped over landing on the carpet.

            “Karkat!” all his friends gasped as they ran over to the small kid. Ms. Paint also joined everyone around Karkat, as she was their teacher.

            “Are you alright Karkat?” Ms. Paint asked her student.

            “Yeah,” Karkat answered. “Having . . . a . . .”

            “You probably have had the wind knocked out of you,” Ms. Paint explained. “You should come with me to the infirmary so we can get you fixed up before you leave.”

            “I’m fine,” Karkat assured her as he got his breath back. “My butt just hurts.”

            “You landed on it too many times to count,” Dave explained.

            “At least, I won,” Karkat objected.

            “Well, we’re leaving soon so you might want to go and return your skates,” Ms. Paint advised her other students who had gathered to see if Karkat was okay.

            “And then it’s back to the classroom to watch Polar Express, right?” John asked Ms. Paint.

            “Actually, I changed my mind,” Ms. Paint explained. “I decided that Polar Express has been shown too many times before. We’re going to watch Prep and Landing.”

            At that moment, Karkat decided that the day couldn’t get any better.

 


	7. Sledding

            Winter break is the most wonderful time of the year to school children everywhere. It’s only second to the more glorified summer vacation where you can do nothing for three months and forget everything you learned the year before to make room for new material. But winter break was the well-needed break from constant learning, and as long as the Christmas tree still sparkled, then everything was good.

            On a fine winter break morn, Karkat Vantas was still in bed. He was wrapped around his favorite stuffed animal, Red, a well-loved crab his grandmother made for him when he was a baby. Curled up in the fettle position, Karkat quickly opened his eyes as sunlight streamed into his room.

            Karkat quickly bounced off his bed and ran up to his window. The weather last night had promised snow, snow that would have been well-received on a school day because it might mean a snow day, but any snow was good snow.

            “Snow!” Karkat gasped. And sure enough, the ground glistened with white, clean, snow, untouched by anything that can walk. It sparkled like treasure in the sun and promised a good day all around. Snow promised friends, good times, and a day of fun. If it was wet snow, it meant snow ball fights, snow men, and igloos. If it was dry snow, it meant sledding.

            Karkat ran out of his room to inform anyone who would hear him about the snow, but everyone was already awake and both his father and brother knew about the snow.

            “Did ya see the snow?” Karkat asked his dad as he ran into the kitchen.

            “I did,” Pastor Vantas chuckled. “And I already went out and checked. Dry snow. Good for sledding.”

            “Yes!” Karkat exclaimed.

            Sledding was always fun at the Vantas house because in their backyard they had a hill. It wasn’t one of those dangerous hills that everyone goes to, but it had a few bumps and was large enough to have fun on. Also, if the snow was icy enough, there was the danger of shooting the small person through the brush into the creek, which was probably coated with ice.

            Quickly, plans were made for a day in the snow. Karkat invited all his friends to come over, bring a sled and some snow gear, so they could play on the hill all day.

 

 

            More people came than expected. It was mostly because Dirk got wind of the phone call made to the Strider-Lalonde house and collaborated with Roxy to ride on the coattails of the whole fiasco. So they posted something on Instagram telling everyone that there was sledding at the Vantas house.

            Seconds later, Kankri found out about the invite to his house and he posted a very large and long rant about how that was very inappropriate and there was no sledding at his house for people that were not invited, like Dirk and Roxy. But of course, no one listened. So many older siblings managed to catch a ride with their younger siblings, and others just walked.

            Everyone gathered in the Vantas backyard, clad in snow gear and carrying an assortment and sleds and snow boards. The backyard was quickly divided between the fourth and seventh graders, separated by two pines trees and some brush in between them. The different age groups would simply ignore each other and just have fun rolling around in the snow.

            However, Kankri came outside to police the whole event. He was still upset with the seventh graders coming over unannounced, but he also didn’t trust the fourth graders to outside on their own.

            “Everyone be careful!” Kankri yelled as he joined everyone and as Dave went down the hill on one of the Vantas’ sleds face-first. “Dave! Be careful!” Dirk, on the other side, then did the same thing.

            “Be cool Kankri,” Karkat warned his older brother. “Just let us have fun.”

            “Yeah! Listen to nubby, Vantas!” Meenah informed Kankri.

            “But there are so many things that could go wrong,” Kankri started to freak. “Broken bones, hypothermia, someone could fall into the creek, go unconscious-”

            “Calm down,” Porrim comforted her cousin. “Everything will be fine.”

            “We’re not stupid you know,” Karkat added.

            “Hey KK,” Sollux ran over to Karkat. “John’th gonna go down on a thled thtanding up. Wanna thee him fail?”

            “John! Don’t do that!” Kankri screeched running over to John who was standing on a sled getting ready to go down.

            “Okay, so most of us aren’t stupid!” Karkat corrected himself.

            “We thould do a thled train,” Sollux suggested to Karkat.

            “Oh yeah that’s awesome!” Karkat agreed.

            A sled train involved someone connecting multiple sleds together through some means and then everyone getting on the sled and going down the hill. It almost never made it to the bottom, but was extremely fun.

            There were multiple ways to do a sled train. You could do one long line with everyone holding onto the sled in front of them. You could also do it so that everyone is side-by-side and holding onto the sleds next to them. Or, you could go for the ultra complicated with involved using the rope that the sleds were tied to and trying them to other sleds making one giant, tangled mess. The easiest one was the vertical line of sleds, but the messy conglomerate is the most fun to make.

            “You guys wanna make a sled train?” Karkat asked his friends.

            “I call front!” Dave shouted slamming his sled which he was carrying down in the tracks.

            “Can’t I be in front?” John asked Dave.

            “There’s room right behind me,” Dave stated as he scooted to the front of the sled.

            “Awesome!” John squeezed in besides Dave. “Who’s second?”

            Everyone then began to line up their sleds in a disaster waiting to happen. Karkat was second, Kanaya third, Rose fourth, Terezi fifth, Jade sixth, and Sollux at the end.

            “John move you butt I can’t hold onto the sled!” Karkat demanded John.

            “Oh alright,” John twisted around to get out of the way.

            “We’re going!” Dave exclaimed as he began to push the sled forward.

            “Wait!” everyone called as John fell out of the sled and Dave rushed down the hill. Once at the bottom, Dave began to look around in confusion, and turned around to see that everyone was at the top, and John was splayed out in the snow half-way down the hill.

            “Fail!” Meenah shouted from the other side.

            “Is everyone okay!?” Kankri panicked. John gave him thumbs up, since he was the only one that could have been hurt.

            “Man,” Dirk commented as Dave climbed back up the hill with the sled in tow. “That looks really stupid.”

            “And fun,” Jake added.

            “Let’s do it!” Roxy shouted.

            “Whoa hold up,” Karkat got out of his sled and threatened to cross over into the seventh grade territory in his own backyard. “The sled train was our idea. You can’t do it unless you wanna join us.”

            “You suck,” Dirk informed Karkat.

            “Dirk, Karkat and I are very triggered by that statement,” Kankri came over and wrapped his arm around Karkat’s shoulder. Karkat struggled to break free, but Kankri had an iron grip. “It is not only triggering to Karkat because you insult him, but I am insulted that you insulted my brother.”

            “Save me!” Karkat gasped as he struggled to wiggle away. Karkat finally managed to fall in the snow and slowly crawl back to his friends who were waiting for him.

            “You told those seventh graders what’s what,” Rose informed Karkat.

            “Shut up, Kankri’s keeping them busy,” Karkat told Rose.

            “Are we going to do the sled train or not?” Terezi demanded.

            “Yeah thith ith lame jutht waiting in the thnow,” Sollux added.

            “Yeah, yeah,” Karkat climbed back in his sled and grabbed onto the back of Dave’s sled since John had grabbed a sled and went to the end. “Let’s go!”

            “Hope y’all are ready,” Dave said as he began to take off. Once Dave was over the peak, everyone was dragged down into the inedible downfall. Karkat’s sled went sideways causing Karkat to loose hold of Dave’s sled. Karkat then fell over causing the large crash that followed. Kankri, of course, freaked out, but all of the fourth graders were left laughing at their own failure.

            “Let’s do it,” Meenah declared from the top of the hill.

            The fourth graders got up; ignoring all of Kankri’s fretting and climbed to the top of the hill ready to do it again. However, by the time they got up, the seventh grades were going down in their very own sled train.

            “They’re taking our ideas!” Karkat exclaimed as he watched their sled train end in similar disaster and fits of laughter. “You know what this means?”

            “We go about our normal being because they’re older than us and they can do whatever they want?” Kanaya guessed.

            “We do nothing because they’ll kill us all if we try and go against them?” Terezi guessed.

“No, war!” Karkat corrected them.

            “We’re gonna die,” Sollux decided.

            “We must make,” Karkat paused for dramatic effect. “The ultimate sled.”

            “If you don’t remember,” Sollux began. “Latht time we made the ‘ultimate thled’ we made forty knotth that we couldn’t untie and it didn’t move.”

            “It was still awesome,” Dave reminded Sollux. “And ultimate.”

            “So let’s do this!” Karkat shouted. “Get all the sleds you can and let’s organize them before we tie they together!”

            “This is gonna fail,” Jade decided.

            “I bet we won’t move at all again,” Rose betted.

            “Ready to put your money where your mouth ith?” Sollux asked Rose.

            “Totally,” Rose agreed.

            “Five bucks says that we make it half-way down before stopping,” Dave betted.

            “I’m with Dave on this one because he always bets right,” Jade flipped her choice.

            “Stop betting and come over and help!” Karkat ordered everyone.

            Jade, Rose, Dave and Sollux joined the group, but then Terezi betted, “Ten bucks for that if we don’t tie it all together, it will end horribly.”

            “That’s actually a good idea,” Karkat agreed with Terezi. “Let’s not tie the sleds together because then they have more freedom to move or something like that and then it will go down the hill.”

            “I don’t think that’s how it works,” Kanaya informed Karkat.

            “Let’s try it anyway!” Karkat declared.

            The next fifteen minutes were dedicated to making the ULTIMATE SLED. In the end, it took seven plastic sleds, two of those being circular sleds, and Dave’s snowboard to create the ULTIMATE SLED. Dave stood on his snowboard in the middle of it all, holding onto the four of the strings to the plastic sleds. The circular sleds were in the front with the fifth plastic sled in between those. Everyone got into position and prepared for take-off.

            “Ready?” Karkat asked everyone, sitting in the front with John and Terezi. Dave was behind them with Rose and Kanaya next to Dave. In the back, Sollux and Jade waited patiently for the whole thing to go.

“Ready!” everyone replied.

            “What are they doing?” Jane asked as she joined her friends at the edge of their territory to watch the fourth graders do . . . something.

            “I . . . don’t know,” Latula admitted.

            “They’re doing the sled train thing!” Meenah figured out. “Just more dangerous!”

            “Dangerous?” Kankri bursted through the wall of seventh graders like a hound. “Did someone say dangerous?”

            “Yeah, look at what the fourth graders are doing,” Mituna said pointing at the ULTIMATE SLED.

            “No!” Kankri shouted and began to run over to the sled. “Stop!”

            “Go!” Karkat commanded and everyone pushed forward.

            “Noooooooo!” Kankri shouted and grabbed a hold of the end of Jade’s and Sollux’s sleds being dragged along for the ride. All of the seventh graders whipped out their phones to capture the train wreck in motion.

            The actual train wreck started with Dave lost balance and flipped over Karkat. Karkat’s, John’s and Terezi’s sleds crashed into him causing the whole sled to stop. Jade’s, Sollux’s, Rose’s and Kanaya’s sleds all jammed into the front three’s sleds stopping the whole thing. Also, Kankri got a face full of snow.

            Dave got up, unhurt, and everyone was laughing, except for Kankri.

            “That . . .” Kankri was speechless for a moment as he stood up and wiped the snow of his face. “That was very reckless of all of you! Someone could have gotten hurt!”

            “But no one did,” Karkat pointed out.

            “Yeah, let the little kids have their fun!” Meenah shouted from the top of the hill.

            “As long as no one is getting hurt, then there isn’t a problem,” Porrim sympathized with the fourth graders as she ran down to make sure that Kankri didn’t pull and huge and long speech on them.

            “Fine,” Kankri finally gave in. “Have your fun. Just be careful.”

            “Yay!” everyone cheered, because now Kankri would be off their backs.

            And then, everyone continued to dangerous stunts for the rest of the day. The end.

 


End file.
